Chapter 2

Too much

"What's taking you so long?" 

I panicked when I heard his voice right outside my room. 

Napalunok ako habang nakatitig sa nakasarang pinto. Kakahablot ko pa lang ng twalya ko at papunta pa lang sana sa banyo ng kwarto.

Like the past nights, I once again had a really hard time sleeping. Pag nakakatulog naman ay binabangungot lang ako at nagigising habang naghahabol ng hininga. Ang sistema tuloy ay halos hindi ko na alam kung gugustuhin ko pa bang matulog o hindi. Sa pagco-contemplate ko ay napuyat lang ako.

It's already 6:45 AM. We usually leave around this hour. Our class starts at 7:15. And Sky doesn't like being late. He's a very punctual person.

I swallowed while taking steps towards the door. 

I know I probably look horrible right now. Well, what's new? I always look ugly anyway. The only difference is that I probably look extra bad today. With these dark circles around my eyes due to the lack of sleep plus my signature potato face filled with lots of pimples all at their peakest peaks, anyone might throw up just at the mere sight of my just-woke-up face. Even my hair is messy as hell and is tangled everywhere.

Pero nakita naman na ni Sky lahat ng kapangitan ko simula pa noon kaya't hindi na masyadong malaking bagay sakin kung mandidiri siya.

Nang makarating sa tapat ng pinto ay inabot ko ang hawakan noon atsaka dahan-dahang pinihit pabukas kasabay ng mabilis na tibok ng puso ko dahil sa kaba. Pakiramdam ko kasi ay magagalit siya.

I was welcomed by his usual hard expression. Besides that, it was void of any other emotion while he was looking at me. Pinipigilan niya lang sigurong mapaduwal o lumukot ang mukha sa nakakapangilabot kong itsura.

I cleared my throat as I accepted my fate.

"Uhm.. mauna ka na. Nalate kasi ako ng gising,"

His forehead slowly creased. Ayan na.

"Magco-commute na lang ako," dagdag ko.

It was his brows that furrowed this time. Napalunok ako sa itsura niya.

Then, without saying anything, he turned his back on me. He walked away from me and his movements were stern.

Saka lang ako nakahinga nang maluwag. Ang alam ko ay madali namang makakuha ng taxi sa baba kaya ayos lang.

Nang maalala ang oras ay halos mapabalikwas ako atsaka dali-daling tumakbo patungo sa bathroom.

It was the fastest and quickest shower I ever took in my whole life. I didn't even know that I was capable of doing that. I was out by 6:55 so it just took me around ten minutes to take a bath.

Pati ang pagbibihis ko ay puno ng pagmamadali. May pagpapaspas na rin sa lahat ng kilos at galaw.

Nang tumuntong ang 7:05 ay handa na 'kong lumabas sa kwarto. Mabilis na sinukbit ko lang ang bag saka pinihit ang doorknob pabukas. 

Dire-diretso ang pagliko ko papunta sa kusina para kumuha ng pwede kong dalhin na makakain habang nasa daan. I just grabbed a granola bar and made my way out of the kitchen.

I took one single bite of the food while walking hastily. Patungo na ako sa main door ng unit nang bigla akong matigilan sa nadatnan ko sa living room.

Nabitin ang pag-nguya ko.

It was Sky sitting on the couch, busy on his phone while his airpods are on. He might have felt my presence because he stood up without a word. Sinukbit niya na rin ang gitara niya atsaka nagtungo sa pinto.

It took me a few more repeated blinks before I was able to get back on my trance. Nang matauhan ay inilang hakbang ko na rin ang patungo sa pinto para makasunod sa kanya.

We were quiet in the elevator and while on our way to the parking lot. Kahit pa nang hanggang makarating sa sasakyan ay tahimik lang kami. Pati na rin nang paandarin niya na iyon at habang nasa byahe na kami.

It's not like it's something new. Or something odd. I've already gotten used to us being like this. It was very far from how we used to be before but the time have helped me adjust. Nasanay na lang din ako na ganito na lang.

Nang makapag-parada na ang sasakyan sa parking lot ng school ay kinalas ko na ang seatbelt ko. 

Bumagal ang mga galaw ko ng marinig ko ang mabigat niyang paghinga.

"We have to change the way we get into the class," he said.

Dahan-dahan kong binaba ang kamay nang matapos tanggalin ang seatbelt. Binalingan 'ko siya.

His eyes were fixed directly in front. Looking at him up close still catches me off guard. Every detail of his manly complexion still amazes me.

"Mauna ka nang pumasok at susunod na lang ako. Pati.. sa pag-uwi ay hindi na dapat tayo nagsasabay sa pag-alis sa classroom," he gradually turned his head to me. "Dito na lang tayo sa parking lot magkita,"

I swallowed. I swallowed for I cannot take the intensity of his gaze and for what he said just constricted something in me.

I looked away and tried hard not to sigh.

Of course we can't get caught. Hindi kami dapat mahalata. 

Hindi pa sapat na hindi kami nagpapansinan sa school. Hindi pa sapat na hindi kami nag-uusap pag nasa classroom. 

Dapat ay hindi na rin sabay na dumadating. Dapat ay hindi na rin sabay na umaalis. Kasi baka may makahalata. Baka may makapansin. Baka may makaalam.

And that would surely be a shame on his part. Because of course no one would want to be involved with a ridiculous person like me. No one would. Not even Sky. Not even him.

The thought of him being embarrassed of me caused something twisting inside my stomach. It made me bit my inner lips as well as the insides of my cheeks.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit tila may kung anong dumadagan din sa dibdib ko.

I suddenly heard him heave a sigh.

My eyes unconsciously flew to his direction.

I caught him averting his gaze from me. I think I even saw something in his eyes before he was able to look away. Then I noticed his jaw clenching a bit.

"You're thinking too much again," he straight up said using his grave voice.

It made me stare at him momentarily.

I suddenly don't know what to feel.

I may be thinking too much but my thoughts are the products of my observations, Sky. I sadly blinked before looking away too.