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PREFACE
Chime ChinonsoHello there, My name is Mason Woods I’m an Exorcist. Truthfully I wish I wasn’t but heck I am. It’s one of those times in life where we don’t get to choose what we want to be. Some study medicine for years but end up delivering. Some people die and remain dead, but in my case I died and was brought back. I know what you’re thinking. Fuck!
Yes, dead. Everything from that shitty moment when your heart stops beating, your body grows cold and they put you in a fucking freezer with a stupid tag on your toe waiting for loved ones to come claim your dead body- sadly for me no one came, I died with the people I love- heck you could blame me for their deaths.
I should have stayed dead, but you see He had other plans for me and so I was brought back to life against my will.
Worst of all, I didn’t come back the same. No one crosses the breach and stays the same anyway. But for me it was much worse than just being able to see through the veil and feel supernatural presence at work.
I was granted the ability to see supernatural interference in action and when it wasn’t the right kind, I was given the ability and in fact the mandate to do something about it.
With the knowledge of what you could call the dark arts, casting out the unclean, banishing demons, cleansing dark spirits, the occasional battling against forces of evil, you name it, you could say my path was already laid out for me.
I became a motherfucking exorcist.
I know. I know, out of the career paths this world has to offer. I didn’t get much of a say in the matter. Needless to say, my new life is fucked.
Now when I meet a girl and she asks “Hey handsome what do you do? “, I reply “I banish demons and the likes from innocent people and old houses, love. But that’s only on Tuesdays “.
I’m never gonna clap cheeks anymore… shit!
I am an Exorcist and these are my confessions. Let me take you back a bit. Back to the beginning…
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Aktuellstes Kapitel
Confessions Of An Exorcist CHAPTER THIRTEEN -> BIRTH OF GYLLOU
Hi! I’m Mason Woods and these are my confessions, but you already know that by now. Vineyard is about to be pushed into extinction, I hope I can do something about it. TO SIT IN JUDGEMENT OF THOSE THINGS WHICH YOU PERCEIVE TO BE WRONG OR IMPERFECT,TO BE ONE MORE PERSON WHO IS PART OF JUDGEMENT, EVIL OR IMPERFECTION WAYNE DYER FEW DAYS BEFORE THE BIRTH OF GYLLOU I come home to meet Haley eating her lunch, I give her a kiss on the forehead. “Welcome back, babe. Are you hungry?” she asks with a smiling face. “No, I’m good. I got something for you.” I sit beside her. “Whoa! What’s that?" She asks, excited. “A bracelet. Father Frank said if you have it on, no demon or gho
Confessions Of An Exorcist CHAPTER TWELVE -> GYLLOU
Hello there. This world is not fair, right? Someone brought me back to life without giving me a grand welcome back but someone who wakes up from coma gets to have lightning strikes and thunder roars. How fair is that? I hate this. I hate this so much.“THE ARCH-ANGEL MICHAEL SAID TO HER,‘WHERE HAVE YOU COME FROM ANDWHERE ARE YOU GOING?’ THE ABOMINABLE ONE ANSWERED AND SAID, ‘I AM GOING OFF TO A HOUSE AND,ENTERING IT LIKE A SNAKE, LIKE A DRAGON, OR LIKE SOME REPTILE, I WILL DESTROY THE ANIMALS. I AM GOING TO STRIKE DOWN WOMEN; IWILL MAKE THEIR HEARTS ACHE, I WILL DRY UP THEIR MILK.. I WILL STRANGLE THEIR CHILDREN, OR I WILL LET THEM LIVE FOR A WHILE AND THEN KILL THEM”I am asleep when someone knocks on my door. I ignore the knock and try to keep on sleeping but the more I pretend not to hear it, the louder it becomes. I can’t pretend anymore because I am awake now. I look at my clock. I
Confessions Of An Exorcist CHAPTER ELEVEN -> AWAKENING
CHAPTER ELEVEN -> AWAKENING So the new church doesn’t have a single nun in it but not to worry I have got my eyes on a bigger, curvy, perky fish. I gotta admit this exorcist nonsense is not as bad as I had imagined. I thought I wouldn’t be able to clap cheeks anymore but I think someone is digging my vibe. Well one thing is certain, if it works out, nothing and no one is going to mar it. Lets start today’s confession, shall we? THE TREACHERY OF DEMONS IS NOTHING CONPARED TO THE BETRAYAL OF AN ANGEL . BRENNA YOVANOFF “What are you both doing here?” Jayden asks. “You have been out a lot lately. Is there anything you are not telling us?“ Mazekeen asks. “Well I found o
Confessions Of An Exorcist CHAPTER TEN -> MY DECISION
I guess what they say about your most embarrassing moments sticking to you like glue is true. I can't seem to stop myself from thinking about the day a seven year old tossed me around. This is bad you know. I hope it doesn't become a routine. Ever been in a situation where you know you gotta do something but you don't do it because you are afraid you are not gonna do it right or be good at it and even though everyone is telling you that you will do great, for some reason you cant trust yourself or believe in yourself? This is me right now. Anyway I'm about to make a big decision, so let's get on with this.POSSESSION AND EXORCISM IS SOMETHING THATS IN EVERY RELIGION AND CULTURE. IT'S A REAL PRIMAL FEAR: IS THE BODY A VESSEL FOR OUR SPIRITS? WHAT HAPPENS IF SOMETHING ELSE TAKES OVER IT? WHERE DOES THE SPIRIT GO? — ELI ROTHAfter spending two days in the care of Father Frank and his house keepe
Confessions Of An Exorcist CHAPTER NINE -> VINEYARD, UTAH
It is starting to feel like I am married to Reverend Fathers; I mean isn't there a beautiful nun like Alex that will explain all this nonsense to me? If God could push beautiful nuns possibly prettier than Alex my way then I would take up this retarded job with pride. I will even have Exorcist tattooed on my ass—yeah, I said it; on my ass, because I have a beautiful booty. Let's go hear what Reverend Father Frank has to say “THE WORLD IS A DANGEROUS PLACE. NOT BECAUSE OF THE PEOPLE WHO ARE EVIL; BUT BECAUSE OF THE PEOPLE WHO DON’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT” ALBERT EINSTEIN "Excuse me did you say your name is Mason Woods?" "Uh... Who's asking?" "My name is David, I'm a Deacon from St Paul's Parish. Father Frank has been waiting for you." "
Confessions Of An Exorcist CHAPTER EIGHT -> NEW LIGHT
THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO THE LATE CHADWICK BOSEMAN. Father men like Chadwick Boseman deserve resurrection. Ever since Chadwick Boseman stepped into the spotlight he has been an inspiration to the world. The way he lived his life is something worth emulating. He kept on touching lives. He kept on inspiring the world, lighting up the dark in people's hearts, Father through his movies he kept our depressed hearts at Bay. May You help his family find peace in his absenceMay he find solace in Your domain.Royalty returns to God. REST IN POWER, KING. YOUR LEGACY WILL LIVE IN YOUR STEAD, FOREVER. Well, hello there. Came to read another tale? It's been confirmed I'm a monster that killed the people that loved him. Yes I killed them, yet they still love me. I guess I'm not cursed after all. Or maybe I am because who would still love me. I guess I'm ju
Confessions Of An Exorcist CHAPTER SEVEN -> DEATH COMES TO US ALL
The worst thing about dying is coming back to life. It's only beautiful if the people you love are here. What's the fucking point if they are gone. They call resurrection God's blessing or miracle but it's really God's way of torturing you. I'm supposed to feel His love but I'm feeling no shit. G
Confessions Of An Exorcist CHAPTER SIX --> MASON WOODS
Chapter Six-> MASON WOODS Hello there! I'm Mason Woods and I'm about to take you back to the past-back to my childhood and my teendom days. Don't hate me for some of the things I did, my hormones are craaaazy
Confessions Of An Exorcist CHAPTER FIVE -> MAZIKEEN
CHAPTER FIVE -> MAZIKEEN Hello there my name is Mason Woods, I died and was brought back to life to do a job I wholeheartedly do not want to do. I am robbed of my freedom. Welcome to my party 
Confessions Of An Exorcist CHAPTER FOUR -> PARTY NIGHT
Oh look at that, you've come again. It's so sweet of you. I feel like we are already best friends, I can feel us bonding. You come every week to read my dumb confessions and that's pretty amazing of you. So in the spirit of friendship, I will answer any question you have. And I really hope you st
