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Home/ All /Confessions Of An Exorcist/CHAPTER THREE -> OLD FRIENDS ARE THE BEST

CHAPTER THREE -> OLD FRIENDS ARE THE BEST

Author: Chime Chinonso
"publish date: " 2020-08-06 07:57:23

Shit!

I almost died the second time.

My stupid best friend had tried to kill me. He was a surgeon but he was dumb as fuck. Who shoots at a ghost?- damn, I’m not even a ghost! Would He have brought me back again if this hairy cunt had killed me? I don’t even wanna know.

"Sometimes life gives you a second

chance,

or even two! Not always, but sometimes.

It's what you do with those second

chances that counts.

-> DAVE WILSON

“Bitch you missed. Shoot with your eyes open not closed.”

“My eyes wasn’t closed”

“How do you explain the bullet missing me?”

“It didn’t. It passed through you”

“What?”

I hit my face with both palms.

“By the way you shot your fish tank”

“Yeah whatever, that ain’t mine anyways. Care for a drink?”

“Dude it’s 9:55am. Too early for a drink”

“It’s never too late or too early for a drink.”

“I’m not gonna drink with an empty stomach. I’m hungry man.”

“Fine. Fucking pussy.” He said, before leaving to fix me something to eat.

He came back thirty minutes later with something that looks like sliced fish on a ceramic plate.

“What is that?” I asked.

“Sushi. Don’t tell me you now hate sushi.”

“Where did you get that?”

“What the fuck do you mean asking me where I got it? I picked it from the street.”

“Your fridge is empty. You don’t store food. Where did you get the sushi cause I didn’t see any delivery man.”

“Over there.”

He pointed at the fish tank. The fish was missing.

“You motherfucker…”

“What? What did I do?”

“You murdered the fish!”

“Oh so it’s not murder when someone kills it in a restaurant but it’s bad thing if a guy kills his own goddamn fish”

“It’s not your fucking fish.”

“What?” he asked.

“A while ago you said the fish wasn’t yours.”

“I bought that fish a week ago to impress a girl. I have been taking care of the stupid thing. I even bought fish food. I guess I was fattening it up for breakfast.” He laughed.

“How much?” I asked.

“100 bucks”

“Was it worth it?”

“Of course it was worth it. She pleased me well and now I’m about to eat the fish. It’s a double win for me.”

“Damn you, bro”

“Are you gonna eat this or not?”

“I think I prefer the drink”

“Atta boy. That’s the spirit. Okay real talk now, how?”

“How what?” I pretended not to know what he is asking.

“How are you alive? I saw your dead body. I mourned you man.”

“You did?”

“Okay let’s not focus on the little details. Come on man, tell me.”

I told him everything. Everything from how I got resurrected against my wish, about the beautiful nuns and Father George and how they hid my resurrection from everyone. I told him of the weeks I spent with them. I didn’t forget a word and before we knew it, it was three in the afternoon and we have finished a bottle of Glenfiddich Whiskey.

His phone rang calling him to work to operate on someone.

“I gotta go man. My credit card is on the counter, buy whatever you want. Mi casa es su casa.”

“Don’t tell me you are gonna drive and operate on someone when you just finished a bottle of whiskey”

“What’s your point?” he asked.

“You are drunk and should make up and excuse”

“Drunk? Don’t be silly. I have never been drunk ever in my life”

“Really?” I raise an eyebrow.

“Dude come on that was a one time thing”

“What about that eventful act of yours during High School graduation?”

“Fuck I thought you’ve forgotten all that?”

“I can never forget them. Those were all your defining moments” I laughed

“I think I prefer you dead.”

“I know you don’t. But seriously man, don’t go.”

“Don’t worry, the alcohol keeps me focused.”

I walked him outside to his car. There was a man at the other side of the road, he focused his gaze at me, staring down.

“Why is that guy staring at me?”

“What guy?” Harper asked.

“Wait here I’m coming.”

“Hey where are you going?”

I crossed the road to meet the man hoping to ask him why he is staring at me. Something about his eyes drew me close to him like I’m being summoned.

As I got close to him, I felt a cold sensation all over my body, sweat rolled down my spine, my head felt heavy and every hair on my body stood up.

" What the fuck is this feeling I'm getting?" I thought to myself

I didn’t like it but I had to meet him.

Harper pulled me back by the shoulder distracting me. I turned to speak with the man but he was no longer there.

He didn’t walk past me cause if he did, I would have seen him.

"How did I miss him?" I asked myself.

“Earth to Mason!” Harper snapped his fingers repeatedly calling me back.

“Are you okay bro?” he asked.

“Didn’t you see the man that was standing here?”

“I didn’t see any man” he gave me a crazy look.

“Don’t mess with me bro.”

“Okay calm down. It might be the whiskey that is making you see things.” He joked.

I pick up a black big feather, brought it up to my face to examine it.

“That’s one big feather you got there.” Harper said.

“Do you know the specie of bird it is from?”

“I’m a cardiac surgeon not a bird specialist, you moron. Don’t tell me you think the feather is from your invisible bird man.”

“Stop saying that as if I’m making this up and I’m not crazy. I know what I saw.”

“Calm down Mason. I believe you.”

He placed his hand on my shoulder

“We’ll investigate this later, okay?”

“No problem.”

“It’s really good to have you back Mason”

.....................................................................................✍️

“What type of nitwits did you hire to acquire his body? They couldn’t even rob a grave.”

“We robbed the grave but there was nothing there, just his corpse.”

“When I asked you to rob the grave I meant rob it of his dead body. Bring his dead body to me”

Abaddon stares furiously at Mazikeen.

“Don’t look at me. I told you to finish your assignment but you chose to get mortals do it for you.”

“I completed my assignment when I killed him and his family. This is just a side assignment from Him. I will fix it.”

“You better. Just pray He hasn’t woken from His sleep.”

“He has been sleeping for months, I doubt this little ruckus would wake Him.”

Abaddon looked down and stared at his feet as if he was in deep thought and everywhere went silent, the air got thinner, something was wrong, the temperature got warmer. Mazikeen stared at the completely motionless body of Abaddon and mumbled  uh oh as she looked at the grave robbers who were already confused, kept on saying sir sir you alright.

“The fuck is wrong with him?” One of the robbers asked Mazikeen.

“I wouldn’t wanna be standing so close right now.” She said.

Before the robbers could process what she said, Abaddon grabs one of the robbers and looked up, revealing a set of red bloody eyes with no pupil and a Leviathan cross on his forehead, he said with a totally different, deeper and more animalistic voice.

“You had one job.”

The terrified grave robbers screams and the door slams shut and closes while the grave robbers tries to open it to run away, the demon, Abaddon bites one of the robber's lower lips clean off and exposing his already torn gums. He bites down on his shoulder blade and his razor-like teeth separates his muscles from bones as his shoulder bled profusely.

Abaddon then held both arms and pulls them both in opposite directions of each other and rips it off.

He then proceeds to the other robber who almost got the door open, grabbed his leg and pulled him on the floor facing him upwards, Abaddon then kneels on top of him and vomits hot melting lava into his screaming mouth, the lava slowly starts melting his tongue and throat while Abaddon stabs his hand through his stomach and rips his lungs out but not fully detaching them from his body, he made the lungs to just pop out of his skin as he watched the skin around the robber’s throat melt due to the lava as his life also melts from his eyes.

Mazikeen turns on the television to avoid watching Abaddon devour the human grave robbers.

A reporter was asking Harper questions.

“Is it true Mason Woods is back from the dead?” she asked.

“Yes and he is alive and kicking.”

“We have report that you intend to throw a party for him.”

“Yeah and you my darling are invited to the party. Bring your cute friends and the party is at Valentino on Friday by 9pm.”

“I’m going out Abaddon.” Mazikeen said.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to a party and will probably get myself some human dick…”

This is how my idiotic best friend invited demons to my welcome back party. I think I miss being dead. This is torture.

That’s all for today’s confession.

Hope to see you next week.

GLOSS:

Mi casa es su casa means my house is your house

Abaddon is the demon of death whose name means to destroy.

Mazikeen is a demon that tortures souls in Hell.

Leviathan Cross is the cross of Satan. Depicted on the bottom is an infinity sign, and above is a double cross. This could also be called an Upside-down Crucifix or the cross of St Peters. 

It was traditionally used as a Christian symbol, but in recent times also used as an anti-christian symbol. Some Christian churches still use this to show humility and unworthiness in comparison to Jesus; depicted when Peter requested this form of crucifixion as he felt he was unworthy to be crucified in the same manner that Jesus died.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Don’t drink early in the morning or late at night. Alcohol is bad for your health.

Enjoy responsibly.

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