Underestimating him

"I think he feels way too guilty to enter in," she said, "Do you want to call him in?"

Knowing his personality, Yura knew that he was blaming himself and voiced out, "Hmm."

She was aware now he wouldn't be at peace until he saw her and had no intentions of making him suffer.

"You know, wouldn't it be better if you ignore him right now? Finally, there is a good enough reason for you two to separate. Looking at thing right now, it doesn't seem that he will approach you on his own."

Yura understood what Mirae was trying to mean. Probably she would be able to put distance between both of them if she utilized this time.

Although that was really cruel, this could be her only chance to do this, and a part of her was trying to consider this.

"How is his current state?" Yura asked.

"It has been looking better," Mirae answered, "It was way worse when you were unconscious. He would have probably lost his mind if something had happened to you."

Yura let out a sigh and stated, "I will consider what you just said and not meet him right now. At this point, I am fine with having to hate me."

Mirae shook her head and voiced out, "You always keep going on and on about how crazy the obsession he has over you is when you are just the same.

You literally disregarded your life for him back then. Didn't you even think once before doing so? You have finally gotten your life in track yet you just threw it away so easily back there."

Yura chuckled and vocalised, "What can I do when seeing him healthy and alive means more than anything to me?"

Pulling the blanket, Yura covered her head with it and closed her eyes. She could imagine how terrible the man was feeling right then, and this caused her chest to clench painfully.

Even so, she was determined to place a distance between the two of them no matter how anxious that made her.

Mirae noticed how the girl covered herself, and extending her hand, she patted on Yura's back. Although she wasn't exactly able to imagine Yura's emotions, she knew that Yura was dealing with a lot right now.

°°°

Yura could vaguely feel someone's hand on her forehead, and at the familiar touch, she opened her eyes slightly. The view of Yejoon was before them.

Immediately, she recalled about her resolve from earlier and closed her eyes. Knowing that it would be hard for her to be cruel to him, she pretended to be asleep.

Ignoring was the best way to get the things done.

She felt as he lifted her hand and started to rub it. His actions were gentle as if he was scared of waking her up.

Even with her eyes closed like this, she was able to sense all of his raw emotions, and chest tightened painfully at that.

"I am sorry; I am sorry; I am sorry," he repeated.

Then, he vocalised, "I know that you have all the reasons to be angry at me. I am the reason you nearly lost your life. 

Why did you do something like that? You should have just left me to die; it's not like I would have been able to continue on living if something happened to you.

You must really hate me right and don't want to see me. I am sorry. If I could go back to the past, I would change everything. Sorry that you are having to pay for my carelessness."

Those words of his delivered his emotions to her perfectly, and she could sense that he was trying his best to not break down completely.

She knew how much he was blaming himself. This made her want to press his hand and tell him how everything was alright. That she wasn't angry at him and was more that happy it was her on his bed.

Yura had a hard time holding back her emotions when she felt something wet drip down her hand, and she was able to guess that it was his tear.

"I am sorry," he said.

°°°

A week has passed since she had been hospitalized, and there was a week more to go before she could be released from the hospital.

Staying at the room all the time made her feel stuffed, and with all the negative emotions that weighed her heart down, she felt way worse.

But there was nothing that could n done about it.

In fear that she would have to encounter Yejoon, she did not have the courage to leave the room.

During this time, he came into her room everytime she pretended to be asleep, and the only thing he did throughout the whole time was apologise to her.

Although it had been a week, she could see how his guilt hasn't lessened. A part of her felt as if he was starting to blame himself more and more.

She was starting to reconsider her decision. Even though she was determined to go along with it in the beginning, she began to think whether or not it was actually the right choice.

From the very beginning, she knew that the guilt he had wouldn't be that easy to erase, but she hadn't expected his state to be horrible.

He looked quite haggard, and according Mirae, he hadn't even left the hospital yet. She could see the toll this entire incident had taken on him.

A frustrated sigh left her mouth.

"You know, maybe the advice I have given you was bad," Mirae vocalised, "He is at a really pitiful. I don't think I would be able to bear watching him like that much longer."

Taking a sip out of the soup in front of her, she stated, "I don't know anything at this point. I am losing my mind over this."

"You know, probably you should be a little optimistic in this matter and let him have these feelings towards you. Maybe things might turn out to be well."

"I can't," she vocalised, "Don't tempt me, Mirae, please. Even though I am done with the revenge and don't care about the past anymore, it doesn't mean that I have no enemies. 

What if something serious happens to me one day? Moreover, he is at a quite important position and has many unfriendly eyes watching him. I don't want to turn out to be a weakness for him."

"Aren't you underestimating him? He is more than capable of protecting you," Yura pointed out.

"Do you know what happened after that incident with Jisoo? He tried to kill himself. At least back then I was there to prevent that, but if something happens to me, who will be protecting him?" she vocalised.