Insomnia

Fortunately, this time Pareios did not seem to realize what had just happened. He had beaten her, got her absolutely cold. But he seemed to blame her changed mood on the fact that she had decided to let it happen that way.

"In war and in ... love," he completed the saying he had quoted and stared defiantly into her eyes.

That tingling again.

Aurelia tried to hide the not unpleasant surprise and the growing aversion. Both feelings wrestled inside her. Outwardly she tried to glare at Pareios angrily and look behind the cool facade. What was that in his look that had changed? Did he understand the fact that she had let him outline her as an attempt to flirt?

She couldn't grasp it before he jumped up with lightning speed and dashed away through the trees. "Tricked!" He called back, giggling like a little boy.

Dazed and a little confused, Aurelia sat petrified, still where he had pushed her to the ground. But finally got up indignantly and started a chase that stretched back to the bunker and really exhausted her. She demanded everything from her muscles and only reached the rock shortly after Pareios.

"Won!" He huffed happily and leaned against the rugged stone to catch his breath. His expression betrayed that it could hardly believe it had defeated her.

Aurelia sank into the grass, exhausted, and breathing just as hard. "You are in good shape, I have to give you that."

"You wouldn't have believed me," he uttered and sat down heavily next to her. Aurelia stared into the small patch of sky that could be seen between two deciduous trees. Felt his gaze on him.

"I assumed you were ... well, let's say ... otherwise busy."

What the hell was she doing? In which direction was this conversation taking? That wasn't her way at all. Of course she flirted every now and then when she wanted to. But never before had there been such a chaos of emotions behind her words. Otherwise it was more like another game that she used against the cold inside and the emptiness associated with it. There had never been such an intention before.

He laughed softly and his deep voice sounded pleasantly rough. “We have known each other for so long and you still underestimate me. My interests are diverse. "

"Maybe we don't know each other as well as you think."

There was a short pause.

"Nobody really knows you ... except maybe Viktor." He tried to say it scornfully and amused, but she still caught that tiny hint of ... what it was, maybe disappointment or annoyance, in his voice. She didn't know what to say to that, after all he was right.

The sudden turn the conversation had taken cooled Aurelia's head down again. The aversion to such conversations got the better of her and she swung to her feet.

"Come on. You wanted to be in bed before the sun rises. ”She pointed to the sky, where the first faint rays of the rising sun were showing. Besides, at Pareios you could never know if someone was waiting for you inside, she added with less enthusiasm. She held out her hand and pulled him up with a jerk.

Together they entered the bunker and passed two guards they knew by sight and who greeted them softly. One blocked the view into a room from which bright monitor light penetrated. It was the surveillance room, in which various video recordings could be seen on all screens, which the cameras transmitted from the surroundings.

After a few meters of tunnel, which led them deeper into the ground, the two said goodbye. The silence that had stood between them until then told Aurelia that Pareios was mentally absent. She really hoped it wasn't her behavior that was bothering him. Unthinkable if he would draw the right conclusions.

At a junction he said goodbye to her, but hesitated a millisecond, as if he wanted to say something else. After an appraising look, however, he seemed to decide against it. Something hesitated inside her too.

She shook her head and realized that none of this could be her. Otherwise she enjoyed the solitude, contented herself with her lonely existence, as a result of her guilt, which chained her to her fate. Finally, took a measured step in the direction of her small room, which was quite far back in Unit E of the large, branched bunker. The concrete walls let the noises they make echo eerily multiple times. The corridors were lit by single bare lightbulbs dangling from the ceiling, and sideways she passed a series of doors that led to various other residential units. Some were bigger, for example if families lived there. Others, like hers, were only the size of a chamber. She didn't need more than that, she wasn't there often anyway.

Blowing her head free by running had worked, but Pareio's behavior and its effect on her had upset her again. If only she had gone with Viktor, she was annoyed and prepared for a restless night.

Once in her small room, she didn't bother to turn on the light. She took off her clothes, which were still damp, which she had not noticed at all while running. She laid it over the chair at a narrow desk and threw herself on the cot on the wall opposite in her underwear. It was hard and barely padded, but she liked it that way. The room was furnished in a spartan way and only contained the essentials. There were no things standing around and there were no pictures on the walls. There wasn't anything she wanted to hang or keep.

For a while she lay motionless in the dark, then she resigned and switched on a small lamp above her bed for the night. Since sleep was not to be expected for the time being, she straightened up again with a sigh. She reached to her desk and opened the bottom of three drawers on its left half. Shortly afterwards, she brought up a bag of green bulbs, opened it, and broke off a few crumbs. This she chopped up over a parchment-like piece of paper, which also came from the drawer. Then she added a little tobacco and turned the paper and its contents into a small, thin cigarette. Aurelia licked off the tape and sealed it that way.

Sometimes the insomnia could only be combated with this drug, which made you feel dull and heavy after just a few tokes. She hated alcohol, even if it would have helped in this case as well. In excess, it was poisonous and contaminated the body, not just the liver and brain. It also attacked nerves, changed personality and made addicts. Medicines were definitely out of the question. Like many of her friends, she preferred the mild, weakly dosed herb.