Chapter Two

A drop, two drops, three drops and boom! It came down pouring like a child urinating in a lylon bag. 

We now have to beg the rain to fall, God really does wonders as we heard it fell in some places yesterday, few months back we were all telling it to stop, when it finally stopped, we all suddenly want it back. But the only thing we got couldn't fill a Cway water bottle to the brim, yet the sun was always laughing at us and doesn't fail to lick our clothes dry on Saturdays. The heat was unbearable, strippers would be glad of their profession, at least it's the only job that doesn't require suit or corporate dressing.

The smell of the rain drifted to my nose as I peeped from the window close to my bed, it was a mixture of sun baked sand and rain. The coolness and breeze it came with caressed my skin like a lover's touch, making the hair at my nape stand attention. Then something else spoilt it all.

The smell of nail polish permeated the air obstructing the soothing smell of rain. I looked to the direction of my bestie who was sitting on my bed and froze up immediately.

"Uchechi!" I shouted, as I stared at her ugly painted finger nails. The layers and layers of paint she added on it were terrible.

"What happened to this one? Oyaa take your thing, I don't want again. I did not even like the color before." she said dropping it.

"Can you believe the Nzubechi's are expecting another baby. After eleven kids, the eleventh one is not even up to a year. Igbo men, I still don't understand them, they are just insatiable. They keep going on and going on without stopping. And let me tell you marrying an Igbo man or dating them is like taking an undiluted wine. " She pipped in suddenly.

Uchechi my bestie, a 23 year old dimpled cheeked lady with the potentials of a beauty pageant candidate. Light in complexion and almost spotless except for the tiny dark birthmark on her forehead, which makes her look like an Indian lady, voiced out.

"I partially agree with the part you said, they keep going on without stopping. After all Dumbi who is still an undergraduate has seven kids with seven different ladies. But you shouldn't judge all igbo men according to what you have seen or heard, you are trying to say all of them are like Mr Nzubechi, That's a stereotype."

"You are right. So who is dumbi? " she asked, blowing hot air on her finger nails.

"Kenechukwu's younger brother. Wait did I tell you he's back? "

"That kene." she asked wiggling her eyebrows

"Yes, the same one." I replied, rolling my eyes.

"The first kiss stealer?" she asked, still wiggling her eyes.

"It was not a kiss, it was just a peck on the lips. Nothing more, mama don't upgrade the story, there's an error in your own version"

"Okay oo, if you say so, kiss and peck.  I've heard you sha." she said, giving me the 'come and gist me' look.

"Uche!! " I shouted.

"Don't call me that. My name is simply Uchechi, wait why are you blushing like this, did something happen? Oya gist me, in fact I'm spending the night here." she emphasized, grinning ear to ear

"Madam you like too much story, chill please."

I began to explain every bit of what happened.

"Chaii!  he has claimed you already, he wants to chop you, that guy still has a thing for you. So did he give any reason why he left?" She asked, still shipping for more gist.

"No, he didn't." I replied, trying to end the subject.

"I guess there's a lot to it."

"Maybe."I replied, feigning a bored look.

"Did you guys kiss? " she asked, giving me a puppy face.

"To be honest you look stupid with that look, like a baboon. What happened to your lips? Is it paining you ni? It doesn't fit you. Please change am."

"Haew! Me baboon? It's okay, Sewa one, Uchechi zero."

"So how is the school and your students?" she asked, chewing her terrible painted nails.

"Oh that reminds me, One of the teachers impregnated a cleaner."

"Just like that? Can you imagine, they are both grown ups, so they can both handle it. "

"The lady's parents insisted the man must marry their daughter, but the man doesn't want to marry an uneducated woman."  I said, trying to restrain the anger that was already building up.

"Who sent him before?" Uchechi asked

"Mum just decided to put the lady in a class after she puts to bed, she's still really young though." I mumbled.

"Thank God it was not a student." Uchechi, said probing her head with a pillow.

"That's the exact statement mum made too." I replied, stretching fully on the bed.

"Oh  yeah, what about Mummy? "

"She went for Bible study. Uchechi the boss lady,  the lady that is as smart as Professor in money heist." I hailed her,  sticking out my tongue at her back.

"That is me ooo." she said, dusting imagineable dusts from her left shoulder.

"So what are you doing in our house?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Wait, can't I come and visit my bestie again?" she asked, instead of replying the question I asked.

"Spill it, Why are you here?" I asked again, wanting her to say it, even though I knew why.

"Okay fine! You know how much I've tried cooking spaghetti the way you cook yours, I always end up getting it burnt or overcooked." 

"So...... ?" I drawled out.

"Come and cook spaghetti for me." she whined.

Leave that to Uchechi, she only comes to my house to gist and eat spagehtti.

*********************

After consuming a plate of Spaghetti and meatballs, we got into the car, precisely Uchechi's car to get Suya(barbecued meat) at the market close by.

We were  telling Alhaji Bashiru to give us tasting of the suya,when we heard people shouting.

'Ole' 'Thief'

I saw the way market people rushed out. Chasing the so called thief, it was a little boy dressed in a dirty Ankara cloth. He was finally caught.

"Someone should bring petrol and tyre. " a voice called out, with a loud voice, piercing the noisy market.

I have heard of jungle justice in news, read it in books but I've never witnessed one. I was so angry and scared at the same time, they kept on hitting the boy. I was expecting the market women to stop them or something, but they kept hurling insults at him.

If I don't do something this boy will be roasted alive.

As if hearing my thoughts

"Sewa don't try it, they won't hesitate to burn you together." Uchechi said trying to change my mind.

"I don't care if I have to die saving a life." I replied her moving towards the scene.

"What's going on here." I asked in a stern voice, giving the you better not mess with me look.

"The small boy steal aunty, from mama Rose. "  a woman in a maggi apron said, her accent sounding odd.

"Thank God you know he's small, he could be your son.  And dont call me aunty I'm not your aunty." I replied, disgustedly.

"What did he steal?" I added

The angry mob started murmuring.

"If you know commot for here fine girl, we go burn you together." a man shouted

"Oyaa try am, you know say you be mumu , I go daze you fast fast, look me well well ooo I crazy gan ooooo."

Uchechi shouted in pidgin language, I was kind of glad she  came to my rescue, she was ready to display her craziness, I was happy  she came to support, I gave her a thank you look.

"What did he steal?" I asked again "I will pay for whatever he stole."

"Let's check im pocket." Bashiru said coming closer.

I was really stupefied when I saw what was brought out of his pocket. I was so glad I came to his rescue, the boy would have just died because of one ten naira candy.

"Where is the woman he stole from?" I spat with a calmness that was menacing and akin to a simmering volcano.

But no one was ready to point her out.

"Cowards! They only came to watch film, the market has suddenly turned to a cinema." Uchechi screamed as the crowd dispersed.

I gave the candy to the man holding the boy.

"Return the candy to the owner." I said, giving him a challenging look.

"For where, No oo I no accept ." he dragged out the words, hitting his chest hardly.

"Na your candy? " I asked, folding my hands.

"No, but we go burn this one. " he replied, nonchalantly.

"You get pickin? " I asked, feeling tired all of a sudden, as I moved my weight from my right leg to the left leg.

"I get." he replied.

"Go burn am." I shouted as I pulled the boy away.

"Thank you. " the boy said with a cracked voice as we walked towards the car.

Uchechi later joined us holding the suya we came for in her hands.

"Why did you steal? " I asked the boy.

"Oma said she was hungry. " he said sadly

"Who is Oma and where are your parents? " I asked softly, feeling moved by his innocence.

"Oma is my baby ." he replied grinning widely.

"Baby! " Uchechi shrieked "Oya where is she? "

He took us to where the said Oma was, she was one tiny little girl, fair in complexion and with a jaundiced eyes.

"Emeka!" the girl screamed and began to search her brother's pocket not concerned with the beating marks on his body, she must really be hungry.

"Ifeoma no food today ooo " he told her patting her head.

"Emeka! " A deep voice shouted

"What do you people want, please leave. Emeka take your sister and get inside now." The young man ordered.

"Are you the father? " I asked not waiting for a reply "I don't like the type of environment your kids are exposed too, it's really not healthy.

"Well that's your problem, excuse me " he replied

"Do you know Emeka would have been dead today, due to this neglecting attitude of yours, I'm just trying to help out here." I said, trying to make my point.

"We don't need your help." he barked

Another version of rogue,my dead dog.

"Are you for real?" Uchechi butted in

"Your son was caught pilfering that's  number one, was almost burnt alive number two and you are saying, you don't need help, yenyenyen. From what I see you really need serious help oo, Physically, Financially, nutritionally infact in every way. "she added.

"Not everyone is as rich as you, do you know what have passed through  with people like you? You feel you have the world on your shoulders right? I don't need any rich barbie to tell me what to do." he voiced out with venom dripping from his voice.

"You know my friend was almost burnt with your son, just think about the kids." Uchechi replied not backing off

They both stared at each other, and I could see the signal, the chemistry was so clear it just began.

Dun dun.... another edition of this life it's beautiful

"Emeka!" he shouted

"Yes Uncle Somto." The boy came out looking scared.

"What happened today? " he asked the boy.

"I'm sorry uncle Somto " he said, with fear written all over him.

"Let's just find a quick solution, you need a job, I will give you one. You need a place to stay no problem " I said interrupting with a smile .

"What job can you give? Miss Good Samaritan? " Uchechi asked

"I'm a graduate. " he replied "You guys don't have to worry about me not being educated." he smirked.

"Uchechi your boy quarters is still available right?" I asked sweetly.

The type of look she gave me almost made me laugh out loud, but I didn't.

"Uche can I talk to you for a second please ? Alone" I asked.

"It's simply Uchechi." she replied, scrunching up her face.

"Stop being facetious, this is a serious matter." I cajoled.

"Okay, let's make a deal later, Emeka needs an immediate medical treatment. After settling all this we will talk. I added, hoping she forgets the deal.

"Fine then." she replied smiling mischievously.

*******«********

Glossary

If you no commot for here fine girl, we go burn you together -- If you don't leave here fine girl , we won't hesitate to burn you both together

Mumu ---- Fool

Pickin ---- Child

Ole ----       Thief

Suya meat ------ barbecued meat