Operation

He was also extremely humble. Nevertheless, I had been wondering for a long time whether this was all right. Because I absolutely did not know whether Jonas had found the perfect conversation partner in me that he so badly needed. I wasn't exactly a fool, but I was nowhere near as knowing as he was. I also kept asking myself if I was making him really happy. But so far he seemed happy with me. Anyway, he made me feel.

“You just forget that Michael Ende also discovered this 'big part', as you call it, and wrote a beautiful book about it. The difference was that the little girl Momo noticed in her fantasy novel that the people around her suddenly had less and less time for each other and finally found out about the "gray gentlemen". Because these gray gentlemen stole the time from people to exist for themselves. Even if Momo discovered the secret of the gray gentlemen through intensive listening, which disturbed the quiet, harmonious coexistence of people with their time wasting, our two discoveries are pretty similar. Indeed, people cannot listen to each other well enough. Just like the animals and the plants. Everything always has to happen quickly. And when we have something on our minds and want to talk about it, we usually have to go to someone whom we pay to listen and for a good idea. We just don't have time for each other anymore. In most communities, anyway. Only where people still live together for several generations and are there for one another is the job of a psychologist or psychiatrist largely unfamiliar. These people give each other so much support that they don't even fall into depression because of their loneliness. Well, of course there is brain damage that is really that drastic and can only be treated with special drugs. But I'm pretty sure that these illnesses will go away when these people experience complete security from others. It can also be assumed that we will live a little longer if we stay happily, content and safely in the midst of our loved ones. Michael Ende just couldn't name this problem so clearly because he was writing a novel for children. "I said a little grumpily and crossed my arms defiantly over my chest.

“Well, but most of your people are perfectly satisfied and even a little proud of you. What more do you want? "

"Yeah, I'm that great too!" I replied in an ironic tone, jingling my eyelids. “I'm just pretty good at observation, like some people have. That's all!"

"And your good powers of observation also tell you that I'm a grumpy bear ?!"

“Well, you're grumpy sometimes. And as a masseur you showed me this enough. Back when you treated me for my back pain, ”I explained with a grin. “You scolded me quite a few times during the treatment hours. Especially when I told you about the finger amputation I wanted to have done on me. "

“Yeah, that was a pretty stupid theory of yours that if you had a finger or two of your two hands amputated, your severe spasticity would decrease. Your penultimate physiotherapist once told you that in all likelihood the uncontrolled movement pattern of a person with spasticity could be “interrupted” by removing a limb. Well, and you wanted to try that. Probably this theory of your former physiotherapist is also correct. But it has not been tried or proven. ", My husband explained with a quick temper and clapped both hands with wild gestures.

I tried to sit up a little further. Because while sitting I was able to catch my breath much better and thus speak much more clearly. When Jonas noticed this, he pulled me up, stuffed my pillow and blanket behind my back, and covered me carefully with his own. Yes, it was amazing how well some people could understand me linguistically. Because of my severe spastic paralysis, which had dominated my entire body since birth, I was only able to communicate vaguely. I spoke like a drunk person. And some people were having a hard time understanding me exactly. Most of the time, this was due to the fact that, unfortunately, not a few of the people I spoke to felt a certain reluctance to let me repeat what I said again or several times in a row. Mostly they felt that repeating the sentences would overwhelm me or even annoy me. However, there were people who were able to understand me very clearly from the very beginning, almost from the very beginning. Jonas was one of those people who understood almost every single word I said. However, we were already quite familiar. And not infrequently it happened that I made an indistinct tone and he still knew exactly what I meant. I also loved it immensely about him that he never tired of letting me repeat complicated words until he understood exactly what I wanted to say.

“Despite all that, one could have tried out whether a person with severe spasticity could move more purposefully by removing one or two limbs. I mean, doctors even operate on brains to give people with spastic paralysis a somewhat calmer and more “livable” life. And personally, I think that's totally gruesome. Because with these operations far worse can happen than with a finger amputation. Yes, well, anyone who seriously suffers from their spastic paralysis should of course have an operation on their brain! Nonetheless, one should first try to accept the things that life has in store for one. In addition, I would not have considered this finger amputation and would have chosen it if I had been able to use both of my hands completely. But since I can do next to nothing with them, it would not have been noticed if I had had one or two fewer fingers on one hand. Yes, of course you would have seen it. But that would have been all. ", I replied, explaining, after I was seated well. “However, I decided to scratch the muscles of my right leg. And since the muscles that were most tense in my leg were surgically scratched a bit, I am physically a little calmer. "

“Yes, this operation was a little different, which, in contrast to the finger amputation, is easy to understand. Because with her, the spastic muscles of the arm, leg or foot are largely paralyzed. Only, with this operation almost everything would not have gone smoothly. And then you might have been even more disabled than you already are. The doctors accidentally gave you a little too much of the anesthetic. And your small, petite body almost couldn't have coped with this. When you think about why you endured this operation, you should be slapped in the face. Because you didn't really want to reduce your strong spasticity, which basically doesn't bother you in any way. Because you have had your spasticity all your life and are used to it, like your brown eyes. No, you just wanted your fellow human beings to have easier physical care. You know, Zerlina, that's pretty stupid: On the one hand, you get upset about the people who submit to society like puppets. You tell your friends they want to live their lives the way they see fit. You say that they should take care that no one takes their life out of their hands and lives on for them. But on the other hand, you let your life be taken out of your hands in exactly the same way in order to let others live on it. And if you had only been brave enough to admit this, you would not have had an operation.